Episode 51: Hamburger Hell

Join Alison and Jody as they cruise through chapters 5-7 of Judy Blume’s 1972 childhood treasure, “Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing!” Fudge turns three and has an absolute shitshow birthday party with a puker, a biter, and a crybaby. Peter grows increasingly resentful of his li’l bro, especially after being forced to do a weird balloon dance. The fam spends a day in the city which ends with mashed potato wall art and a cascade of peas. And to top it all off, Peter’s transportation committee falls apart with Sheila and Jimmy Fargo’s constant bickering. Jody reminisces about British parlour games, and Alison provides some goss on a recent helicopter hijacking. Tune in for bad Star Wars impressions, dramatic readings, and two wonderful listener letters. Finally, congratulations to Mark Durica for being Blume Head of the Week!

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Alison Michael
Episode 50: Creative Walking

Alison and Jody zip through chapters 3-4 of "Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing," one of Judy Blume's most famous novels, written in 1972. Fudge gets a cereal bath and has a jungle gym accident in Central Park, Peter gets into trouble with Mom, and we finally meet the legendary Sheila Tubman. Alison remembers being a very mature five-year-old, and Jody shares her secret to the perfect headstand (it's all about triangles, y'all). The gals also ponder an important question: does dope mean heroin or weed? And finally, congratulations to Debb, this week's Blume Head of the Week!

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Alison Michael
Episode 49: Page Two Fifteen

New book alert! Alison and Jody take you back to early '70s New York City, the world of Peter Hatcher and pesky Fudge, as they read chapters 1-2 of Judy Blume's kid lit hit "Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing." Jody gives a Special Report on the unprecedented spate of bizarre airline hijackings in 1972, while Alison sets the scene and walks us through the popular music, movies, and TV of the era. There's also a lot of talk about fake plants. Meanwhile, Peter's just trying to live his best fourth grade life but Fudge creates all sorts of problems for anyone who crosses his path. Dad loses the Juicy-O account, Mom loses some flowers, but Peter wins a pet turtle!

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Alison Michael
Odds and Ends #7: Prolonging Wifey

You thought "Wifey" was over? Hah, not quite! Alison and Jody wrap up Judy Blume's scandalous 1978 novel and say goodbye to Sandy Pressman the only way they know how: Special Reports, decades-old People and Bust magazine interviews, hilarious one-star book reviews, and a Jeopardy quiz. Alison digs up some dirt on the history of key parties, and boy are you in for a shocker. We also learn what a Hot Karl is. Meanwhile, Jody uncovers Judy's secret stints as pop songstress and DIY maker. Last but not least, huge congratulations to our Blume Head of the Week: Street Jaime!

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Alison Michael
Episode 48: Gon-Gon Be Gone

Can you believe it?! Jody, Alison, and special guest Cathy finish "Wifey," Judy Blume's outrageous sexy adult novel published in 1978! Sandy tells Norm she has The Clap, he goes ballistic, she spends the night in the attic with a Snoopy sleeping bag, and we finally learn more about Brenda Partington Yvlenski via the Tufts Box Letters. Oh, and the Motorbator makes one last appearance. Alison talks about the time she got beat by a pop-up tent in Hawaii, Jody writes a diaphragm jingle, and Cathy drops some knowledge on noodle pudding. Tune in for some great '70s commercials, girl talk, and the finest faux Jersey accents this side of the Mississippi. Lastly, congratulations to this week's Blume Head of the Week, Sandy Shelly!

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Alison Michael
Episode 47: Esther in Waiting

The weird world of "Wifey" is getting wilder! In Judy Blume's groundbreaking 1978 novel about bleakest suburbia, Sandy get the Gon-Gon and has to notify all her lovers, Shep brings some soul-crushing real talk, Banushka goes for a ride, and the Motorbator's identity is revealed... maybe. Jody and Alison discuss chapters 22-24, complete with readings, sidebars, and expert analysis. They also announce the first ever Blume Head of the week recipient(s): Muses and Stuff podcast! Wanna be next? Write us a letter, spread the word, draw us a picture, just do something cool. We don't care!

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Alison Michael
Episode 46: A Silky Mushroom

Sandy strikes out! Join Alison and Jody as they recap chapters 20-21 of Judy Blume's 1978 erotic novel, "Wifey." Secret motel liaisons, a rendez-vous at The Cape, and quite possibly the first signs of a psychotic break. Jody develops a theory about who (or what) Sandy Pressman REALLY is, while Alison reveals her obsession with the Met Gala. Tune in for some great forgotten '70s commercials, melodramatic readings, and reminiscing about a simpler time... a time when you could smoke on planes. 

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Alison Michael
Episode 45: Pouilly Fuissé Chardonnay

Storm's a-brewin' in chapters 17-19 of Judy Blume's "Wifey"! Sandy gets crushed at the Club tournament, hijacks a golf cart, has an intense car-fight with Norm, and decides to give Shep a buzz. Meanwhile, Myra considers divorce and Steve hunts for his very own Mrs. Robinson. The girls receive a great letter from a new Blume Head, Alison gives a lesson on low-number license plates, and Jody uncovers another thrilling Jimmy Buffet connection.

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Alison Michael
Episode 44: Little Sand Shark

Sandy's world gets more bizarre as Jody an Alison cover chapters 15-16 of Judy Blume's 1978 novel about a horny housewife. The twins get bogo rhinoplasties, Sandy has her date with Vincent X. Moseley and hunts for Shep, Myra finds out Gordy is cheating, and a sexy, hairy plumber appears. Jody presents a Special Report on '70s nose jobs, while Alison does her finest voice acting yet. But the best part is Blume Head Rebecca's letter, which prompts Al and Jody to reminisce about how they met, how The Blume Saloon was born, and who the mystery podcast mascot is. *** Use code BLUME to receive 15% off any Sudio headphones at https://goo.gl/RRzTao! Free shipping!

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Alison Michael
Episode 43: Got No Strings

Holy organza! Alison and Jody read through "Wifey" chapters 12-14, which contain THE raunchiest scenes ever re-enacted within the Blume Cocoon. Sandy goes commando and reconnects with Shep at the Club Formal, then gets the full treatment from her Gyno-Bro Gordon, and finally realizes she hates golf. It's a Judy Blume book club! Join us every week. *** Use code BLUME to receive 15% off any Sudio headphones at https://goo.gl/RRzTao! Free shipping!

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Alison Michael
Episode 42: Everybody Watchung Tonight

It's a full house! Jody and Alison envelop author and Literary Death Match creator, Adrian Todd Zuniga, into the Cocoon to chat about his new book, "Collision Theory," his journey to becoming a bona fide novelist, and the time he HUNG OUT with Judy Blume in Miami! Then, Blume Head Cathy drops by to discuss chapters 10-11 of "Wifey," Judy's positively naughty adult novel from 1978. Sandy gets a pixie cut, argues with Norm about his asshole mother, and remembers her cringeworthy wedding night at the Kennedy Airport hotel. The girls discuss ice-filled bathtubs, firehouse sweet sixteens, New Jersey topography, 1970s racial tensions, and bad sex. It's a Judy Blume book club. Join us every week!

Be sure to check out "Collision Theory," "...a headlong and heartaching modern masterwork. It's suddenness, unexpectedness, humor, and humanity make for an unforgettable read." https://www.indiebound.org/book/9781945572821

And find out if Literary Death Match is coming to a town near you! It’s super fun. literarydeathmatch.com

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Alison Michael
Episode 41: Beige on Beige on Beige

Our beefiest episode yet! Alison and Jody cover chapters 7-9 of Judy Blume's sexy, fantasy-filled adult novel, "Wifey." Sandy decides to be her best self on the eve of 1970, has a mind-blowing open marriage convo with Lisbeth, and spots Shep on the train. She receives some obscene phone calls and another visit from the Mystery Motorcycle Masturbator. Jody presents two Special Reports on vasectomy pins and the numerology of Judy Blume, while Alison hosts a 1970s pop culture quiz. And, of course, there are lots and lots of dramatic readings showcasing the worst New York accents of all time. 

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Alison Michael
Episode 40: Mister Sunshine

In chapters 4-6 of Judy Blume's scandalous 1978 novel, Wifey, Sandy Pressman evades a crew of expat swingers, finds a new way to entertain herself on the beach, and learns about ganja from her 10-year-old son. Norman continues to be a total douche, but has inexplicably become a choice cut for the ravenous Club Ladies. Sparing no gory detail, Jody and Alison read aloud the most wild/excruciating/sexy moments and are still left wondering: what the hell is going on?! Was the mystery man in madras shorts real? You tell us!

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Alison Michael
Episode 39: Sticks and Wees

Alison and Jody start a new book... WIFEY!!! Judy wrote it, her first adult novel, in 1978 above a Los Alamos donut shop and turned the literary world upside-down. The gals read chapters 1-3, present some 1970 deep cuts, and find themselves wrapped up in Sandy's wild world of unexplained illness and frenzied masturbation. The Pressmans argue over half-baked Chicken Piquant, Sandy finds the pervy ghost of Evel Knieval on her lawn, and Myra battles a Jamaican customs officer over 300 pounds of frozen meat.

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Alison Michael
Episode 38: PB for BB

The "Blubber" finale! Things take a turn for Jill as she finds herself in Linda's shoes. More dramatic bathroom encounters, bus stop brawls, and Kiddie Justice ensue. Alison and Jody re-enact all the crucial scenes and provide whiskey-fueled analysis on the characters' motivations. They also read a sweet letter from an Ohio Blume Head and bust out some 1974 issues of Teen Star Gossip magazine to bring you all the hottest news on style, slang, and celebrity rumors. Hint: Elvis has packed on the pounds! Pooh-pooh-pe-doo. 

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Alison Michael
Episode 37: Corduroy Hemorrhoids

Three's company! Special guest Beth joins Alison and Jody to discuss Judy Blume's "Blubber," chapters 13-16. The tables have turned and the bullies are on their way to sweet Kiddie Justice. Jill eats a toilet sandwich at Warren Winkler's Bar Mitzvah, Linda and Kenny become BFFs, and Judge Wendy presides over the trial of the century. Beth recalls a (literally) shocking childhood memory, Jody and Alison discover that they're Whale Twins, and the gals dive deep into Judy Blume's inner psyche with a Judy Q's quiz. Did you know that Judy has a lover named Archie?

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Alison Michael
Episode 36: A Federal Offense

Happy birthday week, Judy!!! Queen Bees, frenemies, bullies, and betches. Is there no end to Linda Fischer's living nightmare? Alison and Jody read chapters 10-12 of "Blubber," Judy Blume's 1974 YA novel. Jill writes a nasty letter to the Superior Stamp Company (just like the one Jody wrote to Ann M. Martin), Mrs. Sandmeier drops a bomb, Linda is force-fed a fake ant, and Mr. Machinist catches his culprits. Join us for some vintage commercials, Toddlers & Tiaras recaps, and a "Which Classic High School Queen Be Are You?" quiz. Take the quiz (link on our Facebook page), tell us which Queen Bee you are, and you just might win a pin! 

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Alison Michael
Episode 35: Bad Witches

Poor Linda Fischer! Despite her new celery diet she continues to get bullied by the Mean Girls of class 206. Jody and Alison plow through chapters 7-9 of Judy Blume's YA classic, "Blubber," with recaps, dramatic readings, and of course some singing. Jill loses her tooth during a choir performance, Linda really nails an unintentional solo (brrrrreast!), and a kickball accident sends Linda to the nurse's office. Blume Head Jeb shares an incredible letter about reading "Forever" as a ten year old, and last but not least, the great Fart vs. Burp debate is solved once and for all.

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Alison Michael
Episode 34: Shart on the Bart

Take a seat inside the Blume Cocoon for chapters 4-6 of Judy Blume's 1974 novel, "Blubber." This episode is chock full of bullies, bitches, and BMs. Poor Linda is harassed in the bathroom, the gang gets up to no good on Halloween night, and fan favorite Miss Rothbelle sings bizarre lullabies while touching every student one by one. To wind down, Jody and Alison share personal horror stories of bladder and bowel mishaps. PS - Be sure to check out the Blume Saloon Boutique for some super fun merch: zazzle.com/theblumesaloon

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Alison Michael
Episode 33: Robert Redford Arnold Palmer

The gals start a NEW BOOK, "Blubber" – written by Judy Blume in 1974 as a first-hand account of 5th grade mean girls and bullying. Linda Fischer gives a speech on whales, Jill decides to be an asshole flenser for Halloween, Wendy turns into a baby Regina George, and cool Kenny drops some Guinness Book knowledge. Alison and Jody travel back in time to the mid-'70s bringing you some real talk on current events, movies, and music of the era. Jody learns the truth behind margarine, and Alison recalls the time her regrettable costume won her a free skate party.

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Alison Michael